Raising Olives

Sometimes, I find a great blog and I love reading it and then I completely forget about it-only to uncover it when I am searching for something completely random. Raising Olives is one of those great big family, Christian oriented blogs. So, as everyone knows, I have been struggling with my problems. I really thought I was losing my mind the other day-thankfully, I prayed and God has helped me find understanding and peace to things I never thought could happen. One thing we have struggled with recently was why God brought our niece into our lives to entrust us with her care. Let me further explain, we jump through rings of fire to keep her with us and safe. This often feels like we are beating our head against a wall. We got some wonderful news tonight and if all goes well, I will have some great news to share soon. That lifted my spirits in ways I cannot even imagine.

After reading this Raising Olives article I feel even more blessed that 5 children call me mom and 1 calls me Julie-and she is just like the rest and we love her the same. I feel blessed that we have a large family in a time where large families aren't the norm. Maybe, I even kind of like how large families freak some people out so we weed through people really quickly.

I love their laughs. Tonight, at Lowes, 5 o the 6 got to ride on the flat cart with the dryer and they just laughed and laughed. I love that they love each other and take good care of one another. I love that they wake up everyday giving 1 million percent. I love it. I could just bottle it up.

The new memberzzzzzzzzz of our family

Last year, Adam became interested in getting bees. At first, I said no because I was worried the kids would get stung. Then, we moved here and there was plenty of room for the kids and the bees. The more I read about honey helping people with seasonal allergies, the more excited I am about the newest and smallest Keeton'zzzzzz. The best part is that the bees do their thing without us having to feed or water them. Adam said we might have to give them a little sugar water during the spring but they are pretty self sufficient (my fav kind of animals).

The rest of the animals are doing good. Elvis is the best dog we have ever had. He is sweet and loving and has recently moved from his kennel to his new spot to sleep, the porch. Blue still isn't crazy about us but he enjoys munching on all of the overgrowth. He is also pretty low maintenance but he needs a friend or 2 to help him eat everything. The chickens are all good and the rabbits are pretty oblivious to all of us.

Adam has decided, after much thought, not to do a huge garden this year. He said this but I don't believe him at all (noting hundreds of tomato plants that have now moved from my living room to the back porch). Gardening is his therapy and he loves it. I think he just struggles with the time factor-in reality we may not be here a lot over the summer and if he wants to do it, he wants to do it right. We do have some wonderful raspberry vines that are growing. I am excited because the kids love berries and raspberries the store are not cheap. We have wild blackberries growing down the path but plan on adding more in the fall.

There is a lot no one tells you

There is a lot no one tells you about having kids but there is absolutely nothing anyone has to say about having a critically ill child. Today, as I was having my morning meltdown because I had been up a ton of times, it dawned on me that no one talks about this part of parenting. Adam and I have been going through a few growing pains this year. No, we aren't getting a divorce but we are working through many things that most couples never have to face-the constantly stressful health of one of our children. There is just so much that no one ever tells us. Let me back track-when Weston was first diagnosed, a social worker from the hospital came to tell us that something like 90 percent of all marriages that involve an ill child fail. I thought to myself, that has to be a mistake. Who better to go down this terrible road then your partner? Well, after 4 years of this battle, I have come to realize that it is probably not so much the partner-as the stress. First, you never sleep. Whether it is because you are giving meds around the clock, dealing with episodes, talking to doctors, etc-you never sleep. You get even less sleep when your child is in the hospital. You have to sleep with one eye open because incompentent people can slip in and jab your poor baby with a needle before you can wake up fully (this has happened to Weston at 2 diff hospitals). So, now that you all know why Adam and I look so rough, we can move on. In our situation, Adam works and I stay home with the kids. I love it and he has blessed me with being able to stay home. That being said, I get frustrated when (usually kind of irrationally) I think he should take off to come be with me at a doctors visit (he comes to the really impt ones but skips little things so he can save vacation)-not vacation for a real vacation, mind you, but saving vacation so we can travel back to a hospital. This creates tension. Not because I don't think Adam loves me or whatever, but because it is stressful being the one always at the doctor appointments relaying info to him. Have you ever taken 6 children to the cardiologist for a 2 hour appointment? if not, it is a real treat. It isn't even that the kids are bad, I am just in such a zone of trying to remember every word she says about Weston. While we are at it, scratch all vacations off your list. Those don't exist-at least not a relaxing trip anyways. Even, if he did have a day left, we would just take the kids with us. Add the stress of giving medications-serious, life altering, medications around the clock. One of which is carcenogic the other of which costs 55,000 dollars. The last time we came home from Philly, I was convinced that I had left all of his meds in the RMD House. I tore the car apart in the driveway searching for his meds that I had already carefully placed into the cabinet inside of our house. Not a good mommy moment as I was hysterically crying. Oh and about that, yeah, I cry a lot. His doctors tell us that many of the parents take sleep aids and it makes me panic more that I might not wake up for something happening to him. No thanks. I worry constantly about taking him to a bad ER. Go ahead and throw those health notebooks (you know, the ones that the nurse at the hospital said to start for each of our kids in case we needed to tell people about health history) away because the doctors ask YOU (yes, mainly mom but sometimes dad) questions and YOU need to be able to answer them on the spot. There is no time to thumb through papers-you need to be prepared and they fire questions at you like no tomorrow. I need to know his weight and height at all times, meds/doses/strengths, pharmacist name, any surgeries, surgeons names, doctores names and phone numbers, health history-this really goes on and on. And you need to know it on the spot-there is no time to think.

Friends-well, those are few and far between. Real friends anyways. What the heck do you tell people when they ask how he is doing? We usally say "God has blessed him with another day" as I fight back tears. Then, people smile and wander off awkwardly. We understand. It is also hard for us to get together with other people. In the winter, we hibernated. Although I told people prior that I wouldn't see them until Easter, they seemed stunned that we followed through. No one else understands not wanting your sick 4 year old to be infested with whatever thing 10 people are posting about on facebook. No thank you, we will stay home. We really seem to have offended people with this, this winter and if we offended you, I am not sorry. We did everything we could to keep him healthy.

A friend told me the other day about how, now that they are done having kids, they are going to plan a big vacation without their kids to work on them. I thought to myself, we won't ever have that time to do that-both the vacation thing and the completely working on us. Weston's health is our priority 100 percent of everyday. I pray nightly for his wife because she is going to have to be a strong woman-not only to put up with my insanity but to take on having an ill husband. We took a marriage class a few months ago and it was nice-but the entire time, I was busy making notes in my marriage handbook to not forget some medication for Weston. I was a nervous wreck.

Please don't get me wrong, we love Weston and we do not fault him at all for any of this. I just needed to vent. Get all of my thoughts in one place. God has blessed us with a perfect little fellow and gave him a special heart and lungs so that he can teach the world about perservance and strength.

Honey Thyme Pork with carmelized onions

I made this for dinner last night and it was so super yummy. I doubled the recipe because I thought 1 roast looked small and I like to have food for leftovers.

1 boneless pork roast
2/3 cup of honey
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp of thyme
pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients together and let marinate overnight. Pour it all into a baking dish, cover, and bake on 400 until the meat reaches 160 degrees about 90 minutes or so. I made mine in my stoneware so it might take longer in a pyrex type dish. While it is baking, slice a few onions. I use like 6 or something crazy but the kids really like them. Place them in a pan with some olive oil and cook them on Medium for what feels like an eternity, stirring lots. About halfway through, I pour in some chicken stock-this seems to make the whole carmelizing thing go faster. It was delicious.

The kids and I have recently discovered Pampered Chef's Raspberry Habenero sauce so I served it as a dip. If you like sweet and hot-raspberry habenero is the BEST!

I will, I will, I promise

For the past 2 years, it has become abundantly clear that if I don't hire someone to keep our children for the occasional date, we will, in fact, never get to go on one. If you get to leave your kids for dates, I admire you. I even look up to you and secretly envy you-or maybe not so secretly. Adam and I have been on a handful dinner dates and 1 overnight date since Easton was born. That's right-Easton-our oldest son, who is 6. That is 6 years old not 6 months. Every year, I get depressed when I start seeing all of the fb posts about couples going on dates and blah blah blah. Every year, Adam tells me to hire someone and every year, I don't. I don't for many reasons-number 1 being I don't trust people to take care of Weston. I know, without a doubt that Easton can take care of the rest of the kids-keeping them alive and fed until we return. No problem. The only thing he doesn't know how to do is give Weston his meds which, if he can manage to learn that, we will be set. So today, I promise this time will be different. Starting Monday, I will start looking for a babysitter. I don't even need someone monthly, just every once in awhile and certainly not for overnight until we get Weston sorted out. My head hurts just thinking about it.

I am sorry, get the hell out

I know that sounds terrible. Let me explain. As if I don't already have 5 billion things to worry about, the court appointed advocate arrived at our house unannounced at 3:30pm. We had just pulled in from running to the gas station. The kids were in play clothes, the house was a total wreck, and I was crying. Well, I cried when I saw him because I thought I had locked my keys in my car. I got a ladder and climbed in my bedroom window only to find out that I had apparently already gone inside the house as soon as we got home and put my keys in their spot. The front door wasn't locked. I wasn't locked out. Enter, Weston having episodes. Dumb CASA man thinking Weston was being ornery. Right buddy, blueness and shaking are clearly signs of a crazy child. He then comes in and yapped a bit about the most random crap I have ever heard. He looked at the house. Then, the kicker, he tells me I should call Abby's father and invite him (crackhead), his girlfriend (crackhead), and her 2 kids that she doesn't have custody of over for a playdate. How freaking stupid are people? I mean, while I am at it, I should just go ahead and take the kids to the local jail and let them have overnight visits. NO THANK YOU! I rarely say anything about Abby's dad but it will be a cold day in hell before he gets her. He has never shown 1 moment of interest except to kidnap her in January.

Adam and I are not bad parents and I just don't understand why the court wants to make our lives terrible. We have jumped through hoops of fire to keep Abby. The court system is so screwed up. Truly, the best thing for Abby would be for us to move as far away from her parents as we can and not leave a forwarding address.

Oranges in my bed

Better yet, kids are eating oranges in my bed. It's been a long day/week/month/year/2 years. We are busy finishing Easton's Kindergarten Philanthropy Project (fancy huh?). There are lots of things I have loved about homeschooling and being able to do our own thing has been number 1. I started with such a plan. God laughed. Easton laughed. Hell, even Adam probably laughed. The year is now winding down. We have been done with school for a couple of weeks. I will do lots different next year but overall, homeschooling has been a blessing.

Our house is, well, coming along I guess. Maybe it is never going to be exactly how I want it. Adam doesn't seem to mind the constant state of "undone-ness". It drives me insane. I try to look at picts from a year ago and remind myself that we have come a long way. The next big project will be to cut down the big pine trees in the front yard. Their are 4 of them and they are insanely huge. They give us privacy but I can't see to back out of the driveway. Adam doesn't seem nervous about cutting them-I wish I felt the same way. The other house is for sale. We have had a few people come and look at it. We are praying that God will send the right buyer. I try to keep reminding myself that the kids and Adam (and hopefully me too one day) are so much happier here. I tell myself that over and over when I want to set the house on fire-probably too much info for you guys but it is the truth. I guess we are making progress in some areas. My friend Lindsay has planted some flowers and has been busy digging up her plants and bringing them over (she recently moved and doesn't trust her inlaws to take care of them). She also has a plan for the front of our house. Currently, the kids make it into a mud pit everyday. Maybe that is just what it is like to have 6 young kids? Oh and there are 400 tomato plants being grown in my living room-or really the room with all of the crap that we just haven't had time to sort.

The animals are all good and alive. I think we are set as far as the animals are concerned right now. Adam did get some fancy chicks the other day. They are supposed to make good mama chickens and will sit on other chickens eggs. I think it would be a neat project for the kids to watch chickens hatch. We have about 40 Rhode Island Reds, 20 Dominickers, 10 Americana's, 15 of some kind I don't remember, 4 of the fancy silkies, 1 rooster, 1 black sexlink, 1 feather footed something, 6 ducks, 3 bunnies, 1 dog, and a pygmy goat. Did I mention animals are not really my thing?

OH-I can't believe I haven't posted this already but here is the best parenting tip ever. Seriously, write it down. It sounds crazy but it is the most GENIUS thing I have ever done. We removed the kids dressers from their bedrooms. I know, it sounds crazy but hear me out-everyday I did laundry constantly. Clothes were everywhere and I never really knew what was clean or dirty-so I just kept washing. Since moving the dressers to the basement, I only really have to do about 2 loads a day. GENIUS! I don't know how I didn't think of it sooner. Once we get a few things moved around, I am taking our dresser downstairs too.